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Sunday, January 24, 2010

Super-Resilent People

Going through a hard time?

Ever wonder if you'll ever bounce back to "the way you were"?

Sure...we've all been there.

I stumbled across an article in one of my magazines entitled "Secrets of Super-Resilient People". The article was written by M.J. Ryan--who wrote a book called AdaptAbility: How to Survive Change You Didn't Ask For.

Of course I had to read that article!

And I'll probably end up buying the book too!

Resiliency experts have found that those people that survive and thrive in times of adversity believe in the three C's:

1. Challenge

2. Control

3. Commitment

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CHALLENGE: A person is more likely to bounce back if they look at their adversity as a "chance to grow". Personally, I can tell you that my biggest gains in my own physical, emotional and spiritual growth came after times of adversity.

And doesn't that make sense?

People are inherently lazy. Why change unless we have a reason to, right? And so, God gives us an adversity to insure that we learn our lesson, change etc.

CONTROL: Resilient people don't concentrate on what is outside their control. Instead, they believe they can change their life for the better and thus, concentrate on changing the things they can change.

There's something called 'locus of control' I remember learning about somewhere at sometime in my past studies.

One's locus of control can be inside you or outside themself.

If your locus of control is inside you, then you believe that through hard work and effort you can change your personal world. Termed 'internal locus of control'.

If your locus of control is outside yourself, you believe nothing you do really matters because everything is outside your control and so, you just let the wind blow you where it will. Termed 'external locus of control'.

Personally, I have a very strong internal locus of control. I dunno where I got it from, I just got it. My internal locus of control has helped me many times during my life---including saving my own life on two occasions.

Unfortunately, however, I have to admit that having a strong internal locus of control can have its negative consequences as well. And this negative consequence is called 'co-dependency' because a person with a strong internal locus of control may try to 'fix' things that one has no control over--such as the behavior of another human being.

COMMITMENT: Resilient survivors believe life has a meaning and purpose and so, keep on truckin' despite the rainy days/weeks in their life.

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The following are the questions the article recommends we ask ourself to make sure that we have all three C's in our life:

CONSIDER THE CHALLENGE:

How could what I 'm going through be a growth opportunity?

For example, loss of job allows you to spend more time with family and friends.

TAKE CONTROL

What can I control?

What can I do to feel more in control?


MAKE A COMMITMENT

What gives me meaning and purpose and how can I get involved?

Why? Because when you do what you really love, you feel better about yourself, you feel better about your life and thus, you are automatically happier--even in times of adversity.

I love you all. Stay tuned....